I think it’s pretty safe to say at this point that almost everyone has had covid-19 at least once. And, while I can’t speak for the rest of you, I can tell you *my* post-covid experience has been… challenging.
As a psychic reader, spiritual life coach, Reiki Master/Teacher, and ordained minister, my life is my spiritual practice. My “work” is helping others connect with their inherent divinity. Being the beacon for others, and helping guide them to be the same.
2022 was the year of walking the talk. I was ready to fully step into my role as spiritual guide and Way-shower. In August, I moved my family across the country to a place that really fed my soul. I made amazing connections that would foster my work. I would open a healing space/store front. The ball was rolling. I was ready.
Until…
Halloween morning, we tested positive for Covid-19. For the following 3 weeks, we would experience the works- fever, chills, aches, cough (omg, the cough!), taste-loss, skin sensitivity, vomiting, shortness of breath, you name it. I am grateful we never had to make a hospital trip, but only just.
I was relieved when we tested negative in time to celebrate Thanksgiving, but soon after, things took an interesting turn. I realized I couldn’t focus on anything. Writing a simple social media post felt crushing. As soon as I’d get an idea of something to post, it would be gone by the time I opened the app. I started keeping a pen and paper near-by so I could write things down as soon as I thought of them, which made my lack of attention and recall startlingly and painfully obvious.
Bouts of anger were the next curveball to get thrown my way, which I hadn’t dealt with since I was a kid. I’d go so far as to call it uncharacteristic. That was my first hint that something else was happening. My bipolar disorder and OCD amped up. I developed ADD. I started crying over everything. I felt like I forgot how to communicate, in general, but recalling the names of nouns became particularly problematic. Even these 1000 word blogs now take me a week to complete because it has become so difficult to string one thought onto another.
But, by far, the most disconcerting after-effect of the spicy flu has been the feeling of loss of spiritual connection. I stopped doing readings in the city because it became such an overwhelming challenge. All my plans and momentum and joy for continuing my work vanished. Like floating- drifting- with nothing to anchor me in place.
I admit, I felt a great sense of hesitancy at divulging this information. Like, if people knew what I’ve been dealing with, it would make me more vulnerable. And maybe it will. But, when I looked into the studies of “long covid”, I found a lot of information about the physical, cognitive, and neurological impacts, but no information at all on the psychic and spiritual connection, specifically.
I know I’m not the only one. I’m not the only one experiencing this spiritual disconnection, and I’m not the only one who’s afraid to admit it. But I’m talking to you about it here so that you know you’re not alone.
I think this is that uncomfortable place in life where I have to rely on trust. I know that I am a small speck of light on the interconnected web of universal All That Is. I can’t feel the connection right now, but I trust that it is there. I spend time outside and with my plants because I know it’s grounding, even though I can’t sense the energies of nature around me at the moment. I can’t currently feel my connection to the Goddess, but I dust my altar, and leave offerings and thanks, none-the-less.
This is me, 2 months post-covid, wondering if I’ll ever get my mind and my connection back. I’m trying my hardest to have patience with myself. After all, these are completely uncharted waters. Perhaps starting over will cause me to gain a deeper and better understanding of my practice. But I know I’m not starting over alone. And I know we can use this unexpected and unwanted experience to make our lives richer. I can’t think of how, at the moment, but I’ll be sure to write it down when it comes.
‘She should have kept singing the wheel,’ Erin said reluctantly.
‘Yes,’ Morghan replied simply. ‘She needed to deepen her practice, to sink into it completely and have faith that it would carry her through.’ She paused and thought for a moment, feeling Blythe’s need at her back again. ‘Do you remember the story Ambrose told us before midwinter, Erin?’
‘The one about the prince with the golden hand?’ Erin looked down at Morghan’s right hand, which the Fey Queen had replaced with one of gold.
‘Yes. In that story, the prince was given a pin cushion by Grandmother Yaga.’
Erin shook her head and drew her cloak tighter around herself. The morning was cold and the rising light ashen. ‘Why was it a pin cushion of all things? It’s almost absurd.’
‘Because it is the simple things, the unassuming underpinnings of things that see us through, Erin,’ Morghan said. When we are faced with challenges – as we all invariably are, over and over, we must throw that pin cushion and go on the journey one step at a time, even when we know only what we are heading towards and through – a great battle, a great hurt – and not the outcome.’
Kalinah is a Spiritual Life Coach, Reiki Master/Teacher, Ordained Minister, and founder of River Grove Wellness. She’s our new regular contributor here at Wildsom of the Wildwood.
Her website is www.RiverGroveWellness.com
Insta @RiverGroveWellness
Twitch www.twitch.tv/KalinahRGW
I totally get this. We got Covid last Sep 2022. I was lucky I didn’t get sick much at all considering my lung problems but my daughter got it worse. We had our week Iso then the week after that my Dad passed at 102.5 yrs old. So we had to drive 2000kms there to help with everything. While on the road trying to do stuff for the furneral. A week of non stop stuff to do and I was numb and very fatigued. I tried to do my morning devotions, to go into the garden where ever we were to connect and try ground myself. At night try to meditation, most to no avail. Nothing, but I knew it was there but I just couldn’t feel it like before. I have been struggling to get back on track with my studies in Druidry and my own spiritual path but thought it was due to the loss of my Dad. Never gave it a thought that it could be due to covid. Yes I still get fatigued and I know that is long covid. I really don’t know how we got through that time, that 4 weeks of covid, loss, driving 2000 kms there, then 2000 kms back. I’m just now starting to feel my connection again. I didn’t give up trying to connect and its slowly coming back.
I hope your connection comes back soon. Thank you so much for sharing your experiences. ???
I think this is a good example of how much longer things can take to recover from than we expect- and goodness knows, you had a lot happen in such a short time. It sounds like you were patient with yourself, and did exactly what was needed, which was to just hang in there until you recovered what had been temporarily lost.